I find myself in an interesting situation. I've started seeing a fantastic girl, i'll call her butterfly. She's smart, gorgeous, sexy, witty, totally into me...and she's married.
I knew before we met that she was in an open relationship. She had explained it in her okCupid profile, so I entered this eyes-open. My problem now is I really like this girl. We could have a great time together, only if her husband gives her the ok...
I have no problems with open relationships at all. In fact, i've always thought i'd eventually meet a fantastic woman i'd settle down with and we'd have some form of open relationship to keep things interesting. I just didn't think i'd ever be on the outside, trying to get in. I also would have never guessed how much I could like this girl.
It was amazing chemistry from the second she walked into the bar when my first though was "oh. my. god. she is fucking gorgeous!". 5'11" with unbelievable legs, wearing a slinky sundress, stilettos and a flower in her hair; she was stunning, and just my type. The conversation was easy and engaging. We drank and flirted shamelessly. I'm sure everyone in the bar could see the sparks. I suggested a dance club nearby as I wanted an excuse have her body against mine. She clearly wanted it as well and practically dragged me out of the bar. At the club, we danced pressed together, slow and sexy. Talking and flirting and touching, it was amazingly sensual. The club closed and as we walked, it was obvious both of us wanted to get the other naked and do amazing things together. It would have been amazing. Would have been, because butterfly's arrangement with her husband requires prior approval before either of them sleeps with someone new. We respected her rules, but putting her in the car with just a kiss was an amazing test of will power (for both of us).
So, now i'm in this weird limbo. I want so badly to just dive in with this girl and enjoy the ride, but I can't. I have to take things slowly, get to know this guy and try to convince him i'm worthy of his wife's admiration (and her sex). It's an interesting situation, having to court two people to date one of them. I'm used to having only to worry about my feelings and hers. I'm pretty good at that actually. I am totally at a loss when it comes to persuading another guy to let me sleep with his wife. I'm fully aware of how absurd that statement is.
Honestly, if it were any other girl, it would not be worth the hassle. She might be worth it. It's freaking me out.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The downside to casual relationships
I should start off by stating that I realize I have a pretty fucking amazing life.
Besides the fact that just being american puts me near the top of the pile, standard of living-wise, I have very, very little to bitch about. I have a great job that pays frankly an absurd amount of money for the work I do. I have great family and friends. I'm tall, handsome, and fit enough to attract plenty of ladies. I really do have it made. So don't think for a minute that i'm complaining, cause i'm not. This is mostly just an observation.
I date a lot of women, and have sex with most of them (and even a few I don't date) but for the last couple years, every single one of those relationships has been "casual". The closest I have been to a serious relationship is introducing Dirty to my parents, and that was only because we were vacationing in the same hotel.
However, I am always open and honest with every woman about what i'm interested in. They all know from the beginning that I am not gonna settle down and be anyone's boyfriend. Hell, I never even hint I am interested in being exclusive. I'm interested in easy, fun, drama-free flings. Obviously, plenty of women aren't interested in such a 'relationship', but I haven't had much trouble finding plenty of women who are...or who are for a while...
Every good thing comes to an end, and for me, they end one of three ways:
1) dumped for the new boyfriend
This is the easiest for me. I completely understand that i'm often her stand-by, to be dropped once something better comes along. I am perfectly ok with this. The beauty of a no-commitement fling is the no-commitment. Luckily, it usually ends with well-wishes for her new relationship and thanks for the great times.
2) dumped for the prospect of a boyfriend
Though this is understandable in theory, in practice, it doesn't make sense to me. I understand wanting a boyfriend, and I understand needing to be available to find one. But, hooking up with me on a semi-regular basis is not going to prevent you from meeting your next boyfriend...Unless you tell every guy you go out with you are hooking up with another guy on a semi-regular basis.
3) dumped because she wants more, or having to do the dumping.
Honestly, this one sucks. Unrequited feelings can be really hard to get over. I know this from experience and try to prevent this situation be being honest and open. It does not work. Some women hear me say, "I don't want to get serious, this is just a fling" but still think they will win me over. If they stick around long enough, or if they totally play it cool, or if they do this or that, i'll change my mind and settle down with them. When it doesn't happen, they get hurt. Sometimes they go quietly. Sometimes not so quietly. Either way, she feels hurt.
In the end, though, it doesn't matter how they leave. They all do, and I miss every one when they are gone.
Besides the fact that just being american puts me near the top of the pile, standard of living-wise, I have very, very little to bitch about. I have a great job that pays frankly an absurd amount of money for the work I do. I have great family and friends. I'm tall, handsome, and fit enough to attract plenty of ladies. I really do have it made. So don't think for a minute that i'm complaining, cause i'm not. This is mostly just an observation.
I date a lot of women, and have sex with most of them (and even a few I don't date) but for the last couple years, every single one of those relationships has been "casual". The closest I have been to a serious relationship is introducing Dirty to my parents, and that was only because we were vacationing in the same hotel.
However, I am always open and honest with every woman about what i'm interested in. They all know from the beginning that I am not gonna settle down and be anyone's boyfriend. Hell, I never even hint I am interested in being exclusive. I'm interested in easy, fun, drama-free flings. Obviously, plenty of women aren't interested in such a 'relationship', but I haven't had much trouble finding plenty of women who are...or who are for a while...
Every good thing comes to an end, and for me, they end one of three ways:
1) dumped for the new boyfriend
This is the easiest for me. I completely understand that i'm often her stand-by, to be dropped once something better comes along. I am perfectly ok with this. The beauty of a no-commitement fling is the no-commitment. Luckily, it usually ends with well-wishes for her new relationship and thanks for the great times.
2) dumped for the prospect of a boyfriend
Though this is understandable in theory, in practice, it doesn't make sense to me. I understand wanting a boyfriend, and I understand needing to be available to find one. But, hooking up with me on a semi-regular basis is not going to prevent you from meeting your next boyfriend...Unless you tell every guy you go out with you are hooking up with another guy on a semi-regular basis.
3) dumped because she wants more, or having to do the dumping.
Honestly, this one sucks. Unrequited feelings can be really hard to get over. I know this from experience and try to prevent this situation be being honest and open. It does not work. Some women hear me say, "I don't want to get serious, this is just a fling" but still think they will win me over. If they stick around long enough, or if they totally play it cool, or if they do this or that, i'll change my mind and settle down with them. When it doesn't happen, they get hurt. Sometimes they go quietly. Sometimes not so quietly. Either way, she feels hurt.
In the end, though, it doesn't matter how they leave. They all do, and I miss every one when they are gone.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Dirty Story #1, continued
Feel free to catch up on the first half of the story and all about DirtyGirl.
We continue the story where we left off, midway through one of the longest, craziest, most unexpected nights I had with Dirty. What started off as a weeknight drink at a bar turned into a night of crazy sex with strangers, hot tubs and bear-skin rugs.
Speaking of bear skin rugs, that's where I discovered dirty. Naked, laying across the ShyGuy, also naked, in front of a romantically crackling fire. It was quite a sight, believe me. I considered leaving them alone and even started walking down the hall, but reconsidered and returned to stick my head around the corner. "Dirty, are you awake?" I whispered. She turned her head to smile at me and gestured to me to come in. I walked past her and sank into the giant beanbag where I could watch Dirty and could feel the warmth of the fire.
Dirty lifted herself off ShyGuy and crawled over to lay next to me. "We didn't have sex" she whispered in my ear, "he just wanted to lay there, but I am so fucking horny..." Dirty slid her hand under my jockeys and stroked me as ShyGuy got up, pulling on his shorts to sit near us on the couch. When Dirty pulled down my jockeys to start giving me proper attention, ShyGuy started to get up and asked if he should go.
I assured him he could stay and Dirty reached over to touch and rub him while attending to me with her other hand. Shortly, Dirty was on top of me and ShyGuy was temporarily forgotten. Once she was done having her way with me, she rolled off to lay in between ShyGuy and me.
He had been watching us, stroking himself, so Dirty took over, going down on him with enthusiasm. Ready to go again, she rolled on a condom and whispered loudly, "i'm gonna fuck you". A fact he certainly knew.
She climbed on top of ShyGuy and looked over to give me a naughty look as he slid inside her. She rode him while I watched, coming at least two times before giving up on him and collapsing on the beanbag next to me. We all slept where we were for an hour or so until light started shining in the windows.
The ShyGuy dressed and made us coffee as we rounded up strewn clothing and wandered around the house to see it in the light. There was small talk over coffee and ShyGuy offered to get us onto the ski slope for free, but we were exhausted and bid farewell. Though we all talked like we'd see each other again, we never did.
We continue the story where we left off, midway through one of the longest, craziest, most unexpected nights I had with Dirty. What started off as a weeknight drink at a bar turned into a night of crazy sex with strangers, hot tubs and bear-skin rugs.
Speaking of bear skin rugs, that's where I discovered dirty. Naked, laying across the ShyGuy, also naked, in front of a romantically crackling fire. It was quite a sight, believe me. I considered leaving them alone and even started walking down the hall, but reconsidered and returned to stick my head around the corner. "Dirty, are you awake?" I whispered. She turned her head to smile at me and gestured to me to come in. I walked past her and sank into the giant beanbag where I could watch Dirty and could feel the warmth of the fire.
Dirty lifted herself off ShyGuy and crawled over to lay next to me. "We didn't have sex" she whispered in my ear, "he just wanted to lay there, but I am so fucking horny..." Dirty slid her hand under my jockeys and stroked me as ShyGuy got up, pulling on his shorts to sit near us on the couch. When Dirty pulled down my jockeys to start giving me proper attention, ShyGuy started to get up and asked if he should go.
I assured him he could stay and Dirty reached over to touch and rub him while attending to me with her other hand. Shortly, Dirty was on top of me and ShyGuy was temporarily forgotten. Once she was done having her way with me, she rolled off to lay in between ShyGuy and me.
He had been watching us, stroking himself, so Dirty took over, going down on him with enthusiasm. Ready to go again, she rolled on a condom and whispered loudly, "i'm gonna fuck you". A fact he certainly knew.
She climbed on top of ShyGuy and looked over to give me a naughty look as he slid inside her. She rode him while I watched, coming at least two times before giving up on him and collapsing on the beanbag next to me. We all slept where we were for an hour or so until light started shining in the windows.
The ShyGuy dressed and made us coffee as we rounded up strewn clothing and wandered around the house to see it in the light. There was small talk over coffee and ShyGuy offered to get us onto the ski slope for free, but we were exhausted and bid farewell. Though we all talked like we'd see each other again, we never did.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Unrequested, yet somehow necessary sex advice...part 2
Women, you need to take responsibility for your orgasms.
For the most part, guys don't really know what the fuck they are doing when it comes to pleasing a woman. You can't really blame them.
Society places higher value in teaching men how to build shitty birdhouses and shoot free-throws than how to make a woman come. To make things worse (at least in the US) there's a taboo about talking about sex in general, forget about talking about the gritty details. Despite this lack of instruction, men are expected to be a proficient lover and become the target of scorn if they aren't. As a result, most men fumble along, learning a trick or two, but mostly only getting good enough that women are willing to open up the gates every now and again.
There isn't much women can do to remedy this situation, at least with the generation of men they are fucking.
I figure you have two options if you want O's on the regular:
A) Teach your guy how to fuck you properly.
B) Take charge during sex and make sure you get yourself off.
Although both of these options seem easy enough to accomplish, you can't forget there is another ego involved here....his. Because of lack of training, societal expectations, or whatever else, most men have a very fragile ego when it comes to sex. See how it goes next time you are in bed with your guy, you blatantly inform him that you want to take charge because he's not doing it right. You'll be able to watch his wood disappear.
Right or wrong, you have to deal with it and take it easy with him.
First, I don't think you should ever bring up this topic *during* sex. Too much pressure and room for misunderstanding. Turn a casual conversation about sex into "what have you always wanted me to do in bed?" You can always propose sex practice, like I suggested to men. What guy is gonna turn down that proposition?
The non-verbal feedback suggestion works as well for women as it does for men. Just keep the conversation framed as "tell me what you like and what turns you on" not "I want better sex". Otherwise, it'll be hard to keep him from thinking "she doesn't think i'm good enough in bed". Do a good job with this conversation and you'll get to 'practice' immediately.
After talking in broad strokes about what you like and what you want him to do, you need to give feedback. Of course, the best time for most feedback is in the moment. Again, using a predetermined non-verbal queue for when you like what he's doing makes this easy. Sometimes, you just need to tell him what to do: "in a bit more, now curl your finger. Feel that, right there? g-spot!" If you keep it positive and complimentary, he'll enjoy the feedback instead of feeling criticized.
Last tip: After sex is done, (minutes or hours later) stroke his ego. As long as it's sincere and not to effusive, it'll work to give him confidence and reassure him that your tips are not a critique.
Ladies, there is no reason why you can't have great sex on the regular, especially if you have a willing guy. Don't be another one of the women I hear about who never has orgasms. Take charge and help yourself out.
For the most part, guys don't really know what the fuck they are doing when it comes to pleasing a woman. You can't really blame them.
Society places higher value in teaching men how to build shitty birdhouses and shoot free-throws than how to make a woman come. To make things worse (at least in the US) there's a taboo about talking about sex in general, forget about talking about the gritty details. Despite this lack of instruction, men are expected to be a proficient lover and become the target of scorn if they aren't. As a result, most men fumble along, learning a trick or two, but mostly only getting good enough that women are willing to open up the gates every now and again.
There isn't much women can do to remedy this situation, at least with the generation of men they are fucking.
I figure you have two options if you want O's on the regular:
A) Teach your guy how to fuck you properly.
B) Take charge during sex and make sure you get yourself off.
Although both of these options seem easy enough to accomplish, you can't forget there is another ego involved here....his. Because of lack of training, societal expectations, or whatever else, most men have a very fragile ego when it comes to sex. See how it goes next time you are in bed with your guy, you blatantly inform him that you want to take charge because he's not doing it right. You'll be able to watch his wood disappear.
Right or wrong, you have to deal with it and take it easy with him.
First, I don't think you should ever bring up this topic *during* sex. Too much pressure and room for misunderstanding. Turn a casual conversation about sex into "what have you always wanted me to do in bed?" You can always propose sex practice, like I suggested to men. What guy is gonna turn down that proposition?
The non-verbal feedback suggestion works as well for women as it does for men. Just keep the conversation framed as "tell me what you like and what turns you on" not "I want better sex". Otherwise, it'll be hard to keep him from thinking "she doesn't think i'm good enough in bed". Do a good job with this conversation and you'll get to 'practice' immediately.
After talking in broad strokes about what you like and what you want him to do, you need to give feedback. Of course, the best time for most feedback is in the moment. Again, using a predetermined non-verbal queue for when you like what he's doing makes this easy. Sometimes, you just need to tell him what to do: "in a bit more, now curl your finger. Feel that, right there? g-spot!" If you keep it positive and complimentary, he'll enjoy the feedback instead of feeling criticized.
Last tip: After sex is done, (minutes or hours later) stroke his ego. As long as it's sincere and not to effusive, it'll work to give him confidence and reassure him that your tips are not a critique.
Ladies, there is no reason why you can't have great sex on the regular, especially if you have a willing guy. Don't be another one of the women I hear about who never has orgasms. Take charge and help yourself out.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Dirty Story #1
DirtyGirl and I ended up at bar one night this winter. It was a bit of a drive from her place but was in a resort and had fantastic character: good crowd, great bar staff, quality drinks, and a patio with a fire.
Busty explained that she was here with the guy who watched the house, but he was passed out downstairs. She had been trying all night to get him to fuck her, but he was too shy or nervous and had drunk himself into a stupor before she succeeded...she was horny! "Richie says you guys are swinger friends of his?" Busty asked easily. Dirty laughed and a bit uncomfortably said, pointing at me, "He is...was...whatever..." dropped her towel and hopped into the enormous glowing hot tub.
The girls weren't shy and immediately started talking about the guy passed out in the basement, discussing why he didn't want to fuck Busty, and what she should try next time to seduce him. The discussion quickly turned to Busty and Dirty complimenting each other's bodies, which attributes they wish they had, how much they like each other's boobs, etc. and in a flash they were feeling each other up, grabbing asses and doing dances for each other. Richie and I, of course, were content to listen and watch, passing knowing smiles back and forth. Soon enough, we were invited to feel boobs and asses as well as asked for commentary. Richie just went for it and soon had his mouth roaming between the four nipples, the girls loving it.
After a few minutes, Busty hopped out of the tub and ran to the house to break off one of the enourmous icicles that was hanging off the eaves. She ran back with a squeal and exclaimed "look what I found!" as she splashed back into the tub. "Doesn't this look like a big cock?" Busty said as she broke off the point and rounded the edges in the hot water. "You want to try it first?" Busty asked Dirty, who said nothing but smiled as she accepted the diy dildo. The ice disappeared under the bubbles for a second and then Dirty's expression changed to one of shock mixed with pleasure. "oh my god, this is weird...good but weird. Here, you try!" Dirty passed the melting ice back to Busty. Soon we were taking turns running to the house to retrieve new pieces of ice to replace those melted by pussy and hot water. The girls took turns fucking themselves, then each other, then passing the ice to us to fuck them both. After the ninth or tenth icicle had melted, the girls were ready for something warm inside them and invited us to take turns with fingers, tongues and more. It didn't take long until we were all ready to move the party inside, so we grabbed towels and sprinted through the snow, giggling and laughing the whole way.
Inside, it didn't take long until we were back to taking turns, a mess of naked drunk bodies. After we had exhausted ourselves, Busty realized how late it was (or early?) and dressed, said her goodbyes and left.
Richie gave us a quick tour of the house where we discovered the Shy Guy sobering up in the "den"; A large, yet intimate room with a couple leather couches, a pool table, an enormous micro-suede luv sack (which Shy Guy was sleeping in) a stone fireplace with a glowing fire, and the pièce de résistance, a fucking bear skin rug, complete with growling grizzly bear head. Dirty and I were introduced and Shy became a welcoming host, turning on music, stoking the fire, and pouring tequila shots. We lounged by the fire, drinking and chatting for an hour until Richie decided he needed to call it a night. I was exhausted as well, and after bidding Richie a good night, found a bed and collapsed, leaving Dirty in the company of ShyGuy and a bottle of tequila.
After a couple hours of drunken, restless attempting to sleep, I decided to check on Dirty.
As I entered the den, I was met with a scene straight from a movie. Amos Lee swooning in the background, room lit only by the dying fire, Dirty and Shy Guy...naked in the middle of the bear skin rug...
...to be continued
It was quickly obvious that Dirty was a regular. For the first hour, Dirty introduced me to guy after guy she knew. Each one would give her a gropey hug, kiss her cheek, grab her ass, some all three, while obviously ignoring my presence until Dirty introduced me. Most were douchey, a couple were gay, but as each one shook my hand I thought "enjoy that ass grab...she'll be fucking me tonight while you are jerking off thinking about it".
Side bar:
Why do girls dig douchebags? No motivation, no money, no fashion sense. All they have are muscles, insecurities, shitty attitudes, and the ability to drink a shit-ton of booze. I don't understand. Maybe one of you girls can explain.
Back to the story:
Post d-bag parade, I bumped into RichieRich, a charming and a bit chubby guy I met with TheRebound. He was *very* well off, (hence the name) was a big partier, and had an amazingly hot russian fuck buddy (oh my god, her ass...)
I introduced Dirty and Richie gave me a huge smile and a pat on the back "Well done dude, she is smoking hot!" plenty loud enough that Dirty could hear. His game was on!
After explaining how I knew him (Dirty was intrigued), Richie proceeded to re-tell the story of the night we met: swinger website 10pm, drinking 11:30, hotel suite 2am, hot tub 2:30, fucking 3-5am, (oh my god, her ass...)
Richie pulled out a picture of his russian girl...Dirty fucking knew her! They had met at a halloween party a couple months previous. "God, she has the best body!" Dirty practically screamed, "I kept grabbing her ass!" (I told you about the ass...)
Richie ordered drinks and continued to charm Dirty. Before he had ordered the second round, Dirty was hooked, line and sinker. Richie nonchalantly mentioned a hot tub and Dirty's face lit up "Take us, lets go!" A few minutes later we were following Richie's $250k merc into the neighborhood of vacation homes behind the resort. We got out in front of one of the larger houses and Richie whispered "The hot tub is in the back, but it looks like my buddy is asleep. Try not to wake him up."
Richie opened a side door and let us into a barely lit entryway, the rest of the house completely dark. "Wait a sec, let me go see if my buddy is even here" he whispered and headed down a flight of stairs. Just as Richie disappeared, the sound of a door opening behind us caused Dirty and I both to turn. Walking out of a bedroom down the hall was a short, curvy brunette with absolutely enormous breasts, wearing nothing but a man's dress shirt. Halfway down the hall she noticed us and stopped, surprised "oh! sorry!" she covered a smile with the floppy cuffs of the shirt, "I'm headed to the bathroom!" and darted in another door, closing it behind her.
Not knowing what else to do, Dirty hugged my arm and we quickly headed down the stairs into the dark after Richie, whispering his name as loud as we dared. Richie appeared out of the dark and we explained that we had just been surprised by a half-naked woman in the entry way. "Short with huuuge boobs?" Richie asked, and after our confirmation stated "oh good, i'm glad she's here!" with a big smile, "The hot tub is this way." and led us to the back of the house where he turned on some outdoor lights, illuminating the hot tub.
"You guys get your clothes off," Richie said as he handed us two towels, "I'll go find more of these."
Dirty looked at me with a quizzical smile, shrugged, and started to disrobe. We were naked except for towels when Richie returned (well, I had shoes on still. There was snow on the path to the hot tub!) He was followed by the busty brunette who introduced herself as a friend of Richie's. (The way she said "friend" suggested they were much more) Since she was already practically naked, Busty led Dirty and I out to the hot tub while Richie undressed.
Busty explained that she was here with the guy who watched the house, but he was passed out downstairs. She had been trying all night to get him to fuck her, but he was too shy or nervous and had drunk himself into a stupor before she succeeded...she was horny! "Richie says you guys are swinger friends of his?" Busty asked easily. Dirty laughed and a bit uncomfortably said, pointing at me, "He is...was...whatever..." dropped her towel and hopped into the enormous glowing hot tub.
The girls weren't shy and immediately started talking about the guy passed out in the basement, discussing why he didn't want to fuck Busty, and what she should try next time to seduce him. The discussion quickly turned to Busty and Dirty complimenting each other's bodies, which attributes they wish they had, how much they like each other's boobs, etc. and in a flash they were feeling each other up, grabbing asses and doing dances for each other. Richie and I, of course, were content to listen and watch, passing knowing smiles back and forth. Soon enough, we were invited to feel boobs and asses as well as asked for commentary. Richie just went for it and soon had his mouth roaming between the four nipples, the girls loving it.
After a few minutes, Busty hopped out of the tub and ran to the house to break off one of the enourmous icicles that was hanging off the eaves. She ran back with a squeal and exclaimed "look what I found!" as she splashed back into the tub. "Doesn't this look like a big cock?" Busty said as she broke off the point and rounded the edges in the hot water. "You want to try it first?" Busty asked Dirty, who said nothing but smiled as she accepted the diy dildo. The ice disappeared under the bubbles for a second and then Dirty's expression changed to one of shock mixed with pleasure. "oh my god, this is weird...good but weird. Here, you try!" Dirty passed the melting ice back to Busty. Soon we were taking turns running to the house to retrieve new pieces of ice to replace those melted by pussy and hot water. The girls took turns fucking themselves, then each other, then passing the ice to us to fuck them both. After the ninth or tenth icicle had melted, the girls were ready for something warm inside them and invited us to take turns with fingers, tongues and more. It didn't take long until we were all ready to move the party inside, so we grabbed towels and sprinted through the snow, giggling and laughing the whole way.
Inside, it didn't take long until we were back to taking turns, a mess of naked drunk bodies. After we had exhausted ourselves, Busty realized how late it was (or early?) and dressed, said her goodbyes and left.
Richie gave us a quick tour of the house where we discovered the Shy Guy sobering up in the "den"; A large, yet intimate room with a couple leather couches, a pool table, an enormous micro-suede luv sack (which Shy Guy was sleeping in) a stone fireplace with a glowing fire, and the pièce de résistance, a fucking bear skin rug, complete with growling grizzly bear head. Dirty and I were introduced and Shy became a welcoming host, turning on music, stoking the fire, and pouring tequila shots. We lounged by the fire, drinking and chatting for an hour until Richie decided he needed to call it a night. I was exhausted as well, and after bidding Richie a good night, found a bed and collapsed, leaving Dirty in the company of ShyGuy and a bottle of tequila.
After a couple hours of drunken, restless attempting to sleep, I decided to check on Dirty.
As I entered the den, I was met with a scene straight from a movie. Amos Lee swooning in the background, room lit only by the dying fire, Dirty and Shy Guy...naked in the middle of the bear skin rug...
...to be continued
Monday, May 23, 2011
An Award?
I'm now going to become a stat-whoreing asshole, just a warning.
Another sex/dating blogger http://startpeaking.tumblr.com/ gave me an award.
I don't know what it means or what i'm supposed to do with it, but now i'm feeling very self-conscious about the shit I put up here.
Someone puts a foil star sticker on my forehead and now I have to maintain some sort of standard to prove I deserve the fucking foil star?! The real problem with this bullshit is it totally made my day, so i'll play along.
Elle is a sexual predator across the pond who has been posting fantastic stories http://ldncitygirl.blogspot.com/ of her conquests and adventures. (and got me hooked on twitter - she's @ldn_citygirl)
She totally deserves this, whatever it is.
May this mess with her as much as it did with me!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Unrequested, yet somehow necessary sex advice...part 1
I was conversing with a buddy of mine about our sex lives, as we are wont to do, and he told me about a woman he had been having relations with. This woman had been in a 4 year relationship and had NEVER had an orgasm during sex with her guy.
I was floored. First, what kind of guy doesn't do whatever it takes to get his girl off? Second, what kind of girl is content to fuck a guy for 4 years and never come?
If this was the first time I had heard something like this, I could just write it off. But in the past couple years, I have heard similar stories over and over from women.
Now, I didn't start this blog to be an advice column, mostly because I don't expect anyone to actually read this garbage. Also, no one should take advice from me. However, this is my blog, so you cyber-stalkers are gonna get it.
Rule 1)
Men, making sure your woman really enjoys fucking you is in your best interest.
Except in rare circumstances, every woman can enjoy sex and can achieve orgasm. If your woman is not having a toe-curler on a regular basis, you need to work with her and figure that shit out.
To state the obvious: The more your girl enjoys the sexy time with you, the more she will want to put out.
You may think you are content with a three minute grunt-fest once a week, but wouldn't you rather have your girl asking you for it? If she is showing you her O face every time you hook up, she'll be in the mood all the time.
If your girl can't answer "Very Satisfied" to the question "How much to you enjoy sex with your guy?", there are two places I suggest you put your focus:
First, Learn to love that cunnilingus.
I hear over and over from women how most men either don't go down or they suck at it. Believe me, giving good head is gonna get you more sex than any other bedroom skill.
You can suck at just about everything else, but if you can eat good pussy, that's what she'll be telling her girlfriends about the next day.
The corollary to going down is learning how to fuck your girl the way she likes to be fucked.
I'm sure there are a few Don Giovannis out there who were born with natural talent, but most of us have to learn the hard way. The easiest way to do this is to ask her. This may be obvious, but apparently plenty of you guys are stupid. Just fucking ASK HER! Believe me, she knows much better than you do what works for her and what doesn't.
Before you get busy, maybe while you are talking about sex or sexting or something like that, just tell her, "you know, babe, I'd love it if you gave me tips when we are having sex. I love getting you off".
She'll think it's sexy or sweet or whatever and you'll get points for just saying it. But then, next time you have your head between her thighs, ask her if she likes what you are doing. She'll know you really meant it and hopefully she'll be comfortable enough to give you an honest answer, even if it's "I liked what you were doing before better". Tuck that tidbit away and get back in there.
Another trick that has worked for me is giving your girl signals she can use in the heat of passion.
For example: have her tug on your ear a little bit when she wants you to change things up, then play with your hair when she wants you to keep doing whatever you are doing. These non-verbal cues work great because you don't have to interrupt the action.
If you and your girl are really serious about improving your sex, you should suggest "sex practice". I've used this particular tactic several times to great success.
"Sex Practice" is really just sex (don't tell her), except labelling it "practice" gives you both license to talk about what you are doing, make suggestions, try new things, even make mistakes. You can't do anything wrong because it's just "practice"!
Try texting your girl that you are coming home at lunch for some "sex practice" and note her response. She will be waiting with bells on.
If I was a real blogger, I could devote a whole entry to "sex practice". Since i'm not, I probably won't, but you get the idea.
In short, whatever you do to improve your woman's pleasure is worth the effort.
Rule 2 is for the ladies...to be continued.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)