Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Musings on (bi)Sexuality

I have had a fair amount of experience with female bi-sexuality.

For example, both of my ex-wives were/are bi-sexual.  (a fact unbeknownst to me before getting married)  Indeed, every woman I have dated for any duration of time, except one, has been bi.
In the case of both ex-wives, it was spontaneously revealed during pillow talk that she would like to gain carnal knowledge of another woman, and had been fantasizing about it for quite some time (since puberty in the case of ex #2)

Of course, I was more than willing to facilitate the gaining of such knowledge, and turned to my trusted friend, the interwebs, for help.  I quickly found one of the largest sex personals sites on the web and we were off.
What followed, in both cases, was a brief and mostly unsuccessful foray into "the lifestyle", as swingers like to call it.  Bi-sexual sex was had, but the relationship gymnastics required to accomplish it made it too difficult to continue.

Shortly after divorce number 2, while still in my "slaying the bitches" phase, I started seeing a fantastically sexual woman, The Rebound, who also soon confessed to being bi-curious but completely inexperienced in the subject.  The next 3 weeks were filled with an amazing array of bi-sexual debauchery, as The Rebound turned out to be absolutely voracious when it came to the ladies.  We would arrange to meet a couple for drinks, then back to my house if they were a likely conquest.  Inside 10 minutes after entering the hot tub, Rebound would be naked and pouncing on the chosen prey of the evening.
I must admit, watching Rebound go at it with such gusto was one of the most fantastically sexy things I have ever watched, even compared to all the naked fun we would have with each couple once Rebound decided it was time to move the party from the tub to the bedroom.

Before this point, I had never honestly considered where I fit on the straight-gay spectrum.  I was previously a member of a particular brand of christianity which considered homosexuality a grave sin, so the thought was never entertained.  It was only after my recent conversion to agnosticism that I began to re-evaluate my self-identification as straight.

Free from religious guilt and encouraged by the ever receding social stigma, I started considering if I could be bi-sexual.  I was certain I was not gay, as I would never forsake the vagina, but I was open to testing my sexual boundaries.
Bi guys and girls have a distinct advantage over the rest of us: ie. double the opportunities.  Should I discover I was bi, I would have more sex than I could want (because guys are sluts).
I spent a couple hours perusing gay guys on okCupid, watched some gay pron, I even replaced my regular lesbian dominated masturbatory fantasies with focused thoughts of performing fellatio.  Not surprisingly, I developed a mild Pavlovian response to thoughts of male genitalia, but I was never able to respond to the male physique the way I do to the female.  The most desire I was able to muster was a strong curiosity about both performing and receiving fellatio, and an acknowledged openness to participating in either, should the opportunity arise.
To be honest, I was a bit disappointed by this conclusion.  However, I gave it a true effort and don't feel like I need to force myself to be something i'm not, just for the sake of pushing boundaries.  That said, I am proud of myself, that I could lay my male ego aside and approach such a life-changing possibility.  Who knows, I may run into someone or something that may cause me to reconsider the subject again.  In the meantime, i'll identify myself as straight, with a hint of bi-curiosity thrown in.

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