Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Cast of Characters: Shyness

I’m no stranger to online dating.  Having been a computer nerd since high school, and now with a career in a tech/entertainment industry, the interwebs are a second home.  After divorcing #1, I started a profile on Match.com.  It had been 8 years since I was on the market, and as #1 was my first serious girlfriend (actually my first with just about everything sex related) I had absolutely no skill or knowledge when it came to meeting women.

This was 6 years ago, when online dating still had a negative image, as it was considered to be the refuge of molesters and the last resort of desperate women.  Nevertheless, it was perfect for me.  I could sit in the comfort of my home and browse women like I was at the supermarket, pulling the interesting ones off the shelf and dropping them in my basket.  I was a quick study and soon learned the proper procedures and etiquette to get dates and even had sex with a few of them.

Now days, I still have my Match.com profile which I check in on occasionally.  After my divorce with #2, I discovered okCupid.com, which has turned out to be significantly better than match, plus it’s free, so you know, it has that going for it...which is nice.

I emailed Shyness because she was a 97% match or something ridiculous like that, she had mentioned one of my favorite restaurants in her profile...and she was surreptitiously flipping the bird in her profile pic.  BTW, as soon as I accepted how absurd online dating is, I had a lot more fun.  I mean, potential dates can and do accept/reject you on utterly unimportant things like the position on your middle in a photo, despite all the time and effort you put into shit you thought was really important...but is in fact not.

To reinforce the point, the first 6 emails exchanged with Shyness were about Saag Paneer: a disgusting looking, but incredibly delicious Indian dish, which she had never tried.

I developed a crush on Shyness from the first time we met.  She has a fantastic smile, is really cute, and is just the right amount of nerdy.  Sushi Night was date number three, and it worked as it always does. (I’ll have to explain Sushi Night later, as it deserves it’s own post)  I discovered that Shyness has several tattoos, is soft in all the right places, and is shy about all things sex related, except giving blowjobs, which she unabashedly loves.

We have seen each other several times now, and our m.o. has been drinking and cuddling on the couch while watching nerdy TV shows, then chatting and making out till we make it to the bedroom.  I must admit I really, really enjoy my time with her, and the only thing I would change is that she is nervous/shy about smoking up with me.  Luckily, I think with the right prodding and some fantastic high sex, she will come around.

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